Silly Baby

Can't take yesterday

I just cant believe your gone, still waitin for mornin to come, when i see if the sun will
Rise,in the way that your by my side, oooo where we had so much in store, tell me what is it
All reaching for, when were through building memories il hold yesterday in my heart, in my heart

[Chorus]
They can take tomorrow and the plans we made, they can take the music that wel never play, all
The broken dreams, take everything, just take it away, but they can never have yesterday, they
Can take the future that wel never know they can take the places that we said we will go, all
The broken dreams take everything, just take it away, but they can never have yesterday

You always choose to stay, i should be thankful for everyday, heaven knows what the future
Holds, or least where the story goes, i never believed untill now, i know il see you again im
Sure, no its not selfish to ask for more, one more night one more day one more smile on your
Face but they cant take yesterday,

[Chorus]
They can take tomorrow and the plans we made, they take the music that wel never play, all the
Broken dreams take everythin, just take it away, but they can never have yesterday, they can
Take the future that wel never know, they can take the places that we said we will go, all the
Broken dreams, take everything, just take it away, but they can never have yesterday.

I thought our days would last forever, but it wasnt our destiny, coz in my mind we had so much
Time, but i was so wrong, no i can believe me i can still find the strengh in the moments we
Made im lookin back on yesterday

Yesterday by Leona Lewis

Bedtime Story

I just remembered something Oreo used to do every night at bedtime. Well lets start with the fact that she loved our new bed and how the night stand were very low to the ground and connect to the bed. She would never jump directly on the bed she would use the night stand on daddy's side of the bed and from there walk acrossed the pillows. LOL that used to aggravate daddy that she would walk acrossed the pillows. But once she got to me she would go on the very end of my side at the top which we called "The Baby Side" of the bed and before laying down she would smell my head, actually my scalp. LOL don't ask way, I have no idea but she would smell it really hard, she would just dig her little nose in there then she was happy and would lay down. Its so funny, I never knew why she did that.

Back when it was just me and her she used to have her own side of the bed which is where daddy now sleeps. She had her own side and pillow and that was the way she liked it. Its funny because she still wants her spot so bad, she would try hard to get it and not let him in the bed, so we had to create "The Baby Side" she got used to it but deep down always wanted her spot back.

She would sleep fine on her baby side but when daddy would get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, she would stand up and watch the bathroom with big eyes just waiting to see if he was gonna come back and if he doesn't come back fast enough she would jump over me real quick and take her spot back so when he comes back he is in disbelief at how fast she just takes over. And of course we have to move her back to her spot and I feel terrible, I know she wanted her side so bad :-(

Poor little girl!
____________________________________________________________________
I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on like
"I wish I could talk to you for awhile"
Miss you but i try not cry
As time goes by and it's true that you've reached a better place
Still I'll give the world to see your face
And I'm right here next to you
But It's like you gone too soon
No the hardest thing to do is say bye bye
Bye Bye by Mariah Carey

Listen to Angel Baby

Ok I finally figured out how to put the song on here, if you are sensitive you might not want to listen, it could make you cry :-(


Me & Joel were listening to this song when we were done posting it on the blog and we were both crying and when I turned around Cookie was standing behind me just watching and listening. I wondered if she was sad too because she normally says something when you look at her or when you come towards her. When I saw her little face I went to her to pet her and....she didn't say anything, I was able to pick her up and put her over my shoulder like I use to do with Oreo. Cookie doesn't like to be picked up and usually cries but she said nothing when I did it nor did she mind when I put her on my shoulder. I put her on the bed and I stayed there with her and we have this thing at night that me and her lay on the bed with each other while I play Sudoku online. Sometimes she will come up and lay up against my stomach :-) but last night after we played that song she just laid on the bed and looked lost.

I wonder what goes through her mind just seeing one food bowl and one litter box, and not seeing sissy anywhere :-(

Song Dedication

This is the lyrics to a song I just heard by Tiffany called Angel Baby, I wish I could find a player that will let me play the song on the site, but for now "Oreo sweet baby this song is for you".

Angel Baby
It's just like heaven
Being here with you
You're like an angel
Too good to be true

But after all
I love you, I do
Angel baby
My angel baby...

When you are near me
My heart skips a beat
I can hardly stand on
my own two feet

Because I love you
I love you, I do
Angel baby
My angel baby...

Ooo I love you
Ooo I do
Noone else could love you
Like I do...
Ooooh...

Please never leave me
blue and alone
If you ever go
I'm sure you'll come back home

Because I love you
I love you, I do
Angel baby
My angel baby...

It's just like heaven
Being here with you
You're like an angel
Too good to be true

But after all
I love you, I do
Angel baby
My angel baby...

Ooo I love you
Ooo I do
Noone else could love you
Like I do...
Ooooh
Oooh...

Please never leave me
Blue and alone
If you ever go
I'm sure you'll come back home

Because I love you
I love you, I do
Angel baby
My angel baby...

When you are near me
My heart skips a beat
I can hardly stand on
My own two feet

(mommy loves you and misses you)

Trying to get back to normal

I haven't listened to music since all this happened. I can't do anything with out music so I have just been sitting here doing nothing all day. I haven't cleaned my house in I don't know when. I need to try and listen to music today, and try to get back into working out, and I really need to clean. Oreo liked music so that's a good reason to put it on right? She used to get really spunky when it was turned up really loud, she used to run around the house like crazy, LOL. She was so silly, she also likes things clean, so for her I will try and put the music, workout and clean.

________________________________________________________________
Your face
Let me show them
Your face
All the stars and suns above us
Jealous in its light
You steal the sky away from them
And bring it inside
Yeah you steal the sky away from them
And bring it to life cuz

You are the face
That heaven showed me
When i needed someone
Someone to love
And stay
You showed me
The quiet kind of love
Behind your face
Your Face by Mandy Moore

Tuesday June 17, 2008

Around 10am on Tuesday Pet Dreams called to tell me Oreo was ready to go home :-) I quickly got dressed and hurried up there. This time I dealt with Kevin the founder of Pet Dreams and 2 cute friendly dogs. He was very nice and I just LOVE the urn I picked out, its so cute. They also gave me a good amount of Oreo's hair which I was so thankful for, they did a wonderful job of getting so much and getting both the black and the white and it came in a cute labeled little bag. They also gave me an impression of her paw print in clay, I just love it. It all made me sad again but I had her right there and that made me happy.

When we got home I place the urn next to my bed so that she is very close to the spot she used to sleep on. I have her baby blanket folded up and laying on my nightstand with her picture laying on it and the clay paw print. Her hair is sitting behind the urn. All of her is right there close to where I sleep. I put my hand on the paw print every night before bed.

As much as I miss her I have this sense of peace now that she is finally back home with us. It's so wonderful to have her home even if its not like she was before. The house just seems happier now, it was so empty without her.

My little baby, I love you & miss you so much!

Monday June 16, 2008

The hardest day of my life. The last thing we decided on Sunday is that we were gonna have to let Oreo go today. I couldn't handle doing it alone so Joel took off of work. But again I was reading that Pancreatitis stuff and it again gave me some hope and I was trying everything to reassure myself and talk myself out of letting her go. I wanted to again see if she could wait til the test results came back. I had been thinking to myself the last few days "if we all have spirit guides I sure wish that mine would talk to me so I can hear them and tell me what I should do". This sounds weird but maybe they did. It was kinda odd that after I had put the song How Do I Live on my profile for Oreo, that as soon as we got in the car Monday to go see Oreo, that song was on the radio.

I haven't been able to listen to music at all since all this happened except classical because there are not words, just music. So I did turn that song off, but inside I thought "oh man that just told me what was gonna happen".

When we got there instead of going to the back to see Oreo like we have been doing the girl at the desk puts us in a room and says Dr. Simon would like to talk to us. It did take forever for her to come see us but I was so happy to be in the same building as my baby girl that I could have happily sat there all day. Once she came in she was talking about how she is just getting worse nothing is working. She asks if I would like if they bring Oreo to me, I wanted to say no cause I don't want them moving her and I told her this but I did say "I would love to hold her". So she brought her in.

Now no one knows how to hold my baby but me. She weighs alot and only I know the proper way to carry her. It aggervates me when I see someone trying to pick her up. Only momma does it right :-) They put her on my legs, its not how I wanted her but I was afriad to move her. I could tell it was uncomfortable and after awhile she started to whine. I when to gather her back feet becase I was gonna give readjustment a try. Thats when I saw her back legs, they looked like they were broken almost like they were hanging there. I don't think she could move them :-( talk about wanting to cry.

Me & Joel was able to get her up on the table but I don't think we put her up there comfortably she was uncomfortable and a bit whiny but I was so scared to try and move her, I did not want to hurt her. She basically just stays were you put her since for some reason she doesn't use her legs. Then I saw her mouth, it was almost scary it had dried food all over her mouth from the force feedings and oh my god it looked awful.

I then saw her eyes and my heart almost stopped. Looking in her eyes it was almost like she was already gone, there was just nothing there. She had no hope, whatever this thing was that was quickly killing my baby it had already sucked the life out of her happy loving soul. My baby had died inside :-( & after seeing this I snapped into Brave Mom Mode. I wanted Dr. Simon to get in there and let her go, I wanted her out of pain. It seemed to take so long for her to come back but during that time I got to tell Oreo everything I wanted to say to her and I cried some but I was still so set on taking her out of pain and fast that I handled it way better then I ever thought I would.

I signed a paper and I went out and paid first, Joel got the taxi because thats all we had to put her in, and I had brought her baby blanket. It was pretty quick and heart breaking but at the same time relieving because now my baby was pain free and I hope that she is so happy and running and playing and finally getting to relax.

We took the top off the taxi and I laid her baby blanket in it, it was to long so it was doubled up. We pulled the top layer of the blanket back Dr. Simon laid her in it perfectly, and I brought the blanket up over her and oh my god she was SO cute. She looked like a cute sweet little girl asleep tucked in bed. Oh man she was just to precious. I couldn't have transported her in a better way. I couldn't stop looking at her.

We took her to Pet Dreams Memorial to be cremated. They can do a service and everything if you want them too. I wanted a cremation because I love her to much to just leave her in the ground outside with bugs and who knows what. She loved us and she loved her home and being home with us is her favorite thing. I wanted to be able to bring her home. I want her with me always and forever.

Jane at Pet Dreams was wonderful and me & Joel picked out a beautiful urn. They had this casket shaped plastic thing up on a table and we transfered Oreo to that which I didn't like. She was so cute and perfect in her taxi I would rather have taken the top off the taxi and put it up on the table instead of what was up there, plus that thing was a little bit smelly. They gave me alot of stuff to take home and said the cremation would be done that day and she should be ready tomorrow.

I was ok through all of that until I went over and said goodbye to her one last time and I cried and ended up dropping a tear on her cheek. It was so hard to walk away from her and leave her in yet another place. I kept looking back at her until I no longer could. That was just incredibly hard.

One of my biggest fears in letting her go is that we have been side by side for so long, we are part of each other, she loves me as much as I love her, and letting her go is like sending her off on her own to a far away place all by herself and that makes me cry, it makes me scared. I just pray that she is not scared and I hope she is not alone. I hope that my son Abu we had to let go years ago, Rajah his sister who got hit by a car one night and died and my Grandma, I just hope they are all there with her. Please don't let my baby be alone, please!

Sunday June 15, 2008

I put up Oreo's pic as my default pic on myspace. I also put youtube videos of the songs Looking Through Your Eyes & How Do I Live on my profile, both by Leann Rimes. At some point this year I was listening to a cd that I found that had some Leann Rimes songs on it and I happened to be holding Oreo over my shoulder when Looking Through Your Eyes came on. As I was holding her and loving on her I started to cry, when I put her down on the couch I was singing it to her and I was crying, but she just kept looking at me. I thought, "most of the lyrics are for her" and I don't have many songs that are for her. Me and my husband come up with alot that are perfect for Cookie but never find any for Oreo. So I made that HER song, and since it makes me cry because I am so emotional when it comes to her because I love her SO much, I tried not to listen to it again. It was not that I didn't want to but gosh am I emotional just thinking about how much I love her.

Although the vet is closed Sunday, they check on the animals that are there, twice on Sundays. Dr. Simon checked on Oreo around 2pm and called me to let me know that she just wasn't improving and she peed on her self again. She did put her in the sink and cleaned the bottom half of her up and I was so thankful for that. Oreo wouldn't really let her force feed her, she just did not want to eat. Oreo lives to eat so you know something is wrong if she wont eat. She said she was also getting Jaundice so she is starting to go into liver failure. Talk about devastating. All week I thought that Oreo will not be coming home ever again and this news just makes me realize I maybe right. But there is still that hope.

When ever I read about the Pancreatitis it gives me hope cause there is a treatment although it may not work all the time, it is comforting to know that there is a treatment and recovery is possible. But she has pretty much been doing the treatment with no improvment. :-( It may not be Pancreatitis at all we just don't know and that test wont go out to Texas til Monday. I don't want to have her suffer any longer but I do want her to wait it out for the results if possible. I prayed that maybe there will be some improvment Monday morning.

During Oreo's days at the vet, Cookie who is not the type to want to be kissed and loved on, nor does she ever sleep with us, she has changed, it's almost as if Oreo was going into Cookie. The weirdest thing of all is that Oreo has super soft fur and Cookie's is really coarse. Well since Oreo has been at the vets Cookie's hair also has gotton alot softer. Very strange! Cookie has become more needy, whinny, loving, softer, and she sleeps with us now. My cousin Kathleen told me a story about when her beloved dog passed that her cat started doing all the same stuff the dog used to do. Maybe to help them heal. I can't help but wonder if Cookie is doing ghis stuff for us, but then I also worry that what if she is just lonely and/or scared and needs comfort herself.

She does NOT like to be alone anymore thats for sure. If we both leave and go to the store when we come back she has a whole lot to say to us and she doesn't just say it she yells it. She doesn't even like if we are in a different room of the house, and she does follow us around more.

Poor Cookie, I hope she is ok!

Saturday June 14, 2008

Joel was off this weekend and I am so thankful for that because when I am alone I lose it. If I break down and he is there he comforts me and it really does help, alot. We went and saw Oreo Saturday morning she was the same, just laying there not moving. Dr. Simon said she laid inside the litter box at one point, again that does not sound like my baby girl, she is much to clean for that. She was peeing on herself still. While sitting up there with her and petting her and talking to her I was crying and my tears where making a puddle on the floor. This is my little girl, my sweet little girl who has always been there for me no matter what, my little girl who loves momma as much as momma loves her. I just can't bare to see her suffer. But I still had a small hope that she will be ok. She still had not had any food and didn't want any. They were gonna give force feeding a try because she had to eat other wise her liver might start failing. I gave the ok for that but its hard to think about, the thought of someone force feeding my sweet baby breaks my heart. But they said when they tried to feed here that she still had some fight in her. There was something comforting about that. They closed at 2pm on Saturday and again my nerves were going crazy all night at home.

I was getting so many messages from friends and family on my myspace about Oreo and wondering how she is and trying to comfort me and I was thankful for all that, I wish Oreo knew that alot people cared and were praying for her.

Nights are so hard without her!

Friday June 13, 2008

I woke up Friday morning around 7am. I went down to check on Oreo and she was the same. She was just laying there motionless, still with her eyes open. She had pee peed in 2 spots over by my radio, again the area was a good distance from where she was laying. I called my mom to give her an update and while I was talking to her Oreo got up and went in the kitchen and peed. All the meds she was given on the day before were only gonna last 24hrs & I figured that was probably somewhere between 3-5pm. No way was I gonna wait til then especially with it being friday. I took her back up to the vet around 8am, I wanted to leave her with them all day so that they can keep an eye on her, since they are doctors.

We decided to check her blood work again. She was just there in Feburary and her blood work was perfect, but since the x-rays seemed to be ok except that one spot in the lungs, blood work was next on the list. Those results turned out to be ok, her glucose levels were up a bit but she was not diabetic. It also showed that her liver was elevated 3 times what it should be. It should not be any higher then .9 and hers was 3.9. Still that didn't tell us much. So next was an ultrasound and that did find something in her stomach, and she said Oreo does seem to have alot of pain in her stomach. :-( my poor baby girl. She also did a urine test which turned out to be ok. Dr. Simon was not sure what it was in her stomach, it could be a tumor, cancer or maybe Pancreatitis. I had her go ahead and test for Pancreatitis. The only problem with this is that test has to be over nighted to Texas! It would be mid next week before I could get the results and Oreo just seems to be getting worse.

I went through my pics looking for a certain pic of her that I used to have all the time in the frame by my bed. I found it and put it back in. I used to take that pic in that frame with me every time I have been on vacation since having her. That is how much I love and miss her, I can't even go on vacation without that pic. Now the pic is back where it belongs and Joel says it's a sad picture and makes him cry, its almost as if Oreo is saying "pick me up". Her eyes looking at you in the pic make you sad, but I still love the pic, its my favorite.

Oreo could not come home cause she was getting worse and needed supportive care. The only good thing about this is supportive care is the treatment for Pancreatitis, so even before I would get the results she would basically be doing the treatment. But I did not want to hospitalize my child, she is scared, sick, in pain and hates that place. Dr. Simon recommended that I take her to Cobb Emergency and have her stay the weekend there since she would be monitored 24 hrs a day where at the vet she is at they close at 6:30 m-f and 2pm on Saturday and are closed on Sunday. They said they can do it, but feared what could happen when no one is around, she will be hooked up to fluids all weekend and what if she pulls it out or gets it kinked. I didn't think she would since she was motionless. Plus the cost would have been double at Cobb Emergency. Money is not an issue but the more I can save the more I have to use for her treatment if they find out what is wrong with her. Also I'd rather keep her as close to the house as possible and with the doctors and environment she is already sort of used to.

They went ahead and set her up for her first night there. I knew it would be hard to know she is alone after hours but I didn't know it was gonna be THAT hard. Me and Joel went up to visit her right before they closed I wanted to tell her goodnight and that I loved her and to be strong. Of course I was crying, it was so hard to leave her there. I have NEVER left her alone when she didn't feel good and now feeling the worst she could possible feel I am leaving her all alone and in a cage. I will say though the cage was not what I expected I was actually happy with it, it was much larger then I thought it would be and had a solid ground. After they closed I was so scared I worried myself sick, my stomach was hurting and of course my heart was aching. All those thoughts going through my mind, is she ok? is she in pain? is she sleeping? is she dreaming or having nightmares? is she scared? did she kink her cord? and did they leave a light on for her somewhere? I was really worried about that I did not want her in complete darkness.

Me and Joel have been watching alot of movies, movies are keeping my mind off those this a little. Today I cried so hard and for so long that I just don't think I have any tears left. All I do is lay in bed in cry. I know I need to eat but have hardly eaten. I tried to force food in me and almost choked cause I was crying so hard at the same time. This has been a horrible horrible day.

Thursday June 12, 2008

Something that hurts is that I don't remember how I slept Wednesday night. Me and Oreo usually cuddle to each other but I don't remember if she was there or not, so I will never know if I had gotten to cuddle with her one last time!

My husband was up late on Wednesday night trying to fix and restore our desktop computer that had crashed a few days earlier, so I think we were up til around 3am. I don't think I woke up on Thursday til around maybe 11am or so. Thursday morning seemed pretty normal, except Oreo wasn't in bed with me when I woke up, but she did come up a little later and lay down, then I think she went into the closet to lay. She likes laying in the closet because the floor feels cold. I am sitting on my bed still and using the laptop to email my cousin at work, which we do almost everyday. As I was typing Oreo come out of the bathroom walking through the room and crouched down, walked again and crouched down, she did this one more time and I thought to myself "something is wrong with her". Then she walked a little more to the hallway and I noticed she was licking like crazy, so at this point I am getting really nervous. Then she starts shaking a little and then starts to throw up, and its really frothy. I felt a little better then thinking that all that was just to get herself ready to throw up, Cookie does weird stuff like that too, so I was thinking "oh ok, its fine".

Well she doesn't stop throwing up and if it were Cookie I wouldn't have worried because Cookie throws up all the time, but Oreo does not! All of a sudden she starts panting, and since cats don't pant unless they are hot or stressed that sent me into panic mode. I tried to wait to see if she would get better. She tried to walk down stairs but stopped on the landing to throw up again, and again it was really frothy and gooey. It was so gooey that's what was causing her to lick so much because it was all stuck in her mouth and on her lips. Then again she started panting and wouldn't stop, so I called the vet frantically to tell them I was bringing her up.

I was thinking a few tests some antibiotics and I would be taking her home for some rest, and I would kiss her better. I could never have been more wrong. Money is not an issue but instead of running a million tests at one time we started from the top and worked our way down. When my baby was pulled from her cage and put on the table she peed on herself, the vet said she might have been scared. Nope I know my baby and she would never pee on herself she is to clean, this is a cat that wont use a litter box that has been used just one time.

Her temperature was fine & she hasn't lost any weight. Her heart was beating a little fast but not to bad, but I am sure that's cause she was scared. But because of her panting she couldn't hear if she had a heart murmur. Dr. Simon wanted to start with chest & lung x-rays. I left her there all day until they closed because I wanted her in professional hands as long as possible. Dr. Simon called me to tell me the x-rays don't look bad but there is a little something in her lungs, and that she is not sure exactly what it is but that may not be what her problem is.

She gave her a antibiotic, a steroid, and I think an anti inflammatory, and also injected her with fluids that would release all night because she was a little dehydrated. And I came and picked her up. With all the stress and trying to get there on time, I forgot to bring her taxi, thank god they had one I could borrow.

When I got her home she just wasn't herself at all she stayed downstairs and laid by the stools and then she would go to the middle of the living room floor which really isn't but 5 steps way, but she laid back and fourth in these spots about ever few minutes she was never comfortable in one spot. She would not eat but did walk over to the bowl, but she would just fall down and lay there. She stood up and walked in front of the water bowl and just held her head over it, she wanted some so bad but just couldn't do it.

My sweet little girl tried her best to make it to the litter box when she had to pee but although she was in the litter box she was so close to the rim that she peed on the rim and it went all over the floor. She tried so hard to be good. But when I realized that she might have a bladder problem because I think Dr. Simon said she went on her self again while at the vets I figured as much as I don't want to leave her alone we need to run to Wal-Mart and get a mattress cover in case she does decided to sleep with us and there is a possibility she could wet the bed.

We did run real quick and get one and when we came back I saw she had peed by the wall by the door. It's a bit of a distance from the areas she was trying to stay in so I didn't think it was uncontrollable as having to get that far seemed a little thought out. I happily cleaned it up and tried to comfort her but she wasn't having it. I tried to lay down on the floor behind like we would in bed but she would just get up and move. She did not want to be bothered. She never did come sleep with us.

Although Dr. Simon said that one of the meds she gave her might make her a little sleepy, I honestly don't think she slept the entire night, I kept checking on her all night and I never once saw her close her eyes and she just kept moving to those two spots. Looking at her eyes was heartbreaking, you could see that she did not feel good.

My poor baby whenever she doesn't feel good she always lays by those stools until she is 100%.

For my girls

This blog is dedicated to my precious baby Oreo. Although I do not know her exact birthday she was born in June 1993. She has always been so healthy & happy, she was a very loving big time momma's girl. I got her as a kitten when I was 15. I moved from Florida to Georgia in July of 1993 right after I graduated 8th grade. At first I didn't like the idea of having a cat because during the time we got her up until we were about to get into the moving truck and leave which was maybe only a week or two, I realized that a pet is ALOT of work and I didn't think I was up for that. Me, my step dad and Oreo rode in the moving truck, while my mom, brother and Cookie rode in my moms car. During our trip me and Oreo bonded, we became in separable.

Moving after 8th grade is hard because I wanted so badly to go to high school with my friends. Starting over at a new school is one thing, starting high school out of state has to be the worst. I was so miserable and all I wanted to do was go back home. It took me 5yrs to get used to Georgia. I didn't have any friends but that's because I didn't want any, I refused to like anyone or anything about Georgia.

But I had Oreo! She kept me company and loved me and slept with me every night. Everyday she knew around what time I would be coming home and she was waiting in the kitchen window just waiting for my bus to drop me off. I could see her out of the bus window and it would make me smile. Her little face was the only thing that brightened my day, and I could see that she felt the same. When I got off the bus and would walk towards the house she would stand up and watch me until I got to the stairs then jump down and run to the door, were I was greeted by a cute little baby who had alot to say.

She was all I had for so long and I am so thankful for her and every second that we had together. For the last, maybe, 5yrs or so I have had Oreo & Cookie. Cookie used to be my brother's baby, then she became my mom's baby, but when I moved out I could not separate them so I took her with me. Cookie warmed up to me and my husband and she is now a daddy's girl. This blog was going to be just for Oreo, a place for me to write down how I am feeling or how I miss her and stories of her so that I can never certain things she/we did. But I still have Cookie and she is doing good, so I think it would only be fair to make this blog for both the girls, so that I don't have to start a separate one for Cookie later.

My life has now changed forever in just 4 devastating days!